Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Ben's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 21st, 2009
12:00 am	01:14 Alright, everyone's favorite Bro jokes. # 01:14 The Riders of Brohan, courtesy of @blfowler # 01:15 I'm partial to "Et tu, Bro-te?" # 01:16 Or, if you're a fan of mid-season TNG, Ensign Bro Laren. # 01:18 Supercallifragilisticexpeali-Bro-cious? # 01:18 I'm sorry. # (Comment on this)
Friday, November 20th, 2009
12:00 am	02:56 FROG BLAST THE VENT CORE! # 03:02 I've been on a big Marathon kick lately. God bless you, Aleph One. # 03:10 If I had a rocket launcher, I'd make somebody pay. # 03:11 Before you help a cybernetic race rise up against their oppressive masters, look at the pros and cons. #durandalsays # 03:12 Namely, are said oppressive masters willing to blow up a sun to spite you. #durandalsays # 03:12 @talestoenrage Best Marathon level name, go! # 03:12 @talestoenrage I call "Smells like Napalm, Tastes like Chicken" # 03:15 Remember that if your lackeys give you any guff, you're the guy who can teleport them into deep space. #durandalsays # 03:21 If you discover the secrets of the universe, make sure you stop by every 10,000 years so people don't forget. #durandalsays # 03:25 @talestoenrage To be fair, said unstoppable weapon is only in those situations at your behest. # 03:29 @talestoenrage I must go into a cryosleep now. Wake me after you've told some aliens where we are and they attack. # 19:20 @theisb What's the downside? Morons post in your comments. How is that different than normal? # (Comment on this)
Thursday, November 19th, 2009
12:00 am	11:50 @blfowler Also, for a true epic poem, you'd need opium. Lots of opium. # 12:04 @blfowler Okay, hear me out. Why not combine some poetry with McDonald's slogans? # 12:04 @blfowler You know exactly what people who eat at McDonald's want to hear: Coleridge. # 12:05 @blfowler In Wal-Mart Parking lot did Kubla Khan/a stately Kids' Play-Place decree # 12:57 @blfowler And for some reason there's this lengthy part about Ronald McDonald killing an albatross. # 13:27 This will probably be the lamest trending topic ever, but let's see if we can get #ColeridgeMcDonaldsmashups started. # 13:29 I will start with my earlier post: In Wal-Mart parking lot did Kubla Khan/a stately Kids' Play-Place decree #ColeridgeMcDonaldsmashups # 18:27 Is there a song worse than Bryan Adams "(Everything I do) I do it for you"? # (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
12:00 am	14:30 Hey twitter, what genre conventions do you love irrationally? # 14:31 Me? I straight up love arena battles. Or martial arts tournaments. # 16:32 Alright, new category: Things on which to base the next American Civil War. # 16:32 Krispy Kreme vs Dunkin Donuts # 16:33 Cat People vs. Dog People # 16:34 And by that I mean the 1982 movie with Malcom McDowell that glorified incest. # 16:35 The Foot Clan vs Foot Fetishists # 16:36 People who quote Ghostbusters too much vs people who haven't seen it # 16:38 The 700 Club vs the Wu Tang Clan # 23:21 Slightly too late halloween idea: Girl is Number 6 from Battlestar, guy is Number 6 from The Prisoner. # (Comment on this)
Monday, November 16th, 2009
12:03 am	03:19 Jesus, these Exten-Z "male enhancement" ads are horrible. # 03:20 The worst is the montage of guys saying, "Well, it got bigger". # 03:20 At a certain point, just come out and say the word "penis". Or maybe "cock". I don't care, just quit beating around the bush. # 03:21 I would respect your product more if you just said, "Your pantsnake will be engorged as if it had feasted on a small goat." # (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 14th, 2009
12:06 am	11:27 @KingOblivionPhD Knowledge is our treasure. Our treasure is knowledge. # 16:38 Okay, I'm hereby dedicating my life to two things. # 16:38 1). Starting a vampires vs. luchadors meme. # 16:39 2). Starting the rumor that Ol' Dirty Bastard merely faked his death, and is out there right now. # 22:05 @talestoenrage Either that, or he's battling his Negative Zone equivalent. Who presumably would be young, clean cut, and polite. # (Comment on this)
Friday, November 13th, 2009
12:05 am	09:21 The part in Evil Dead II when the deer head is laughing. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:22 In Reign of Fire where Matthew McConaughey gets eaten. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:23 In Jason X, where Jason beats a girl in a sleeping bag using another girl in a sleeping bag as a weapon. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:24 Pretty much the last half of Dead Alive. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:27 Various scenes in Drag Me to Hell that I really don't want to spoil, because its better as a surprise, seriously. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:28 The part in The Jerk where he has a wine glass dispenser. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:29 ...okay, the entirety of The Jerk. #greatestfilmscenesever # 09:48 The part in any Bruce Lee movie where he kicks a dude REALLY hard. #greatestfilmscenesever # 10:16 @blfowler You're just making that shit up. # 14:30 Y'know what would have made Twilight awesome? Chupacabras instead of vampires. # 14:31 Or, if you're going to have vampires, don't make them fight werewolves. # 14:31 Go with the natural enemy of the vampire: The Luchador. # 17:39 @theisb For Romance: In Big Trouble in Little China, Jack Burton's response to, "Aren't you going to kiss her goodbye?" # 17:41 @theisb For favorite scene ever: In Jason X when Jason beats a girl in a sleeping bag WITH another girl in a sleeping bag. # 17:42 @theisb Or possibly in Hard Boiled when Chow Yun-Fat jumps out of an exploding hospital holding a baby in one arm. # (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 11th, 2009
11:54 am	Armistice Day Here's the annual Armistice Day post, courtesy of Kurt Vonnegut. "When I was a boy, and when Dwayne Hoover was a boy, all the people of all the nations which had fought in the First World War were silent during the eleventh minute of the eleventh hour of Armistice Day, which was the eleventh day of the eleventh month. It was during that minute in nineteen hundred and eighteen, that millions upon millions of human beings stopped butchering one another. I have talked to old men who were on battlefields during that minute. They have told me in one way or another that the sudden silence was the Voice of God. So we still have among us some men who can remember when God spoke clearly to mankind. Armistice Day has become Veterans' Day. Armistice Day was sacred. Veterans' Day is not. So I will throw Veterans' Day over my shoulder. Armistice Day I will keep. I don't want to throw away any sacred things." (Comment on this)
Tuesday, November 10th, 2009
1:02 am	00:38 @DrPuppykicker I would also put Time Chasers on the essential list. # 12:59 @theisb You could settle an argument between me and my wife. She thinks Batman would be great in bed. I disagree. What do you think? # 13:01 @theisb I just think he'd want to pee on you or something. Maybe he'd just want you to wear some pearls that he'd break. I don't know. # 13:09 @theisb @KingOblivionPhD I still think Martian Manhunter could give him a run for his money. Psychic and shapeshifter. # 17:21 So, I'm fairly new to this whole cable thing, but it seems like G4 exists only to show Ninja Warrior and Big Trouble in Little China. # 17:22 Nothing so far has disabused me of this notion. # (Comment on this)
Monday, November 9th, 2009
1:02 am	00:57 I second @sbauguess. Where is @SeanJarrard when you need him? # 00:59 So, just to remind everyone, in DC vs Marvel, they combined Batman with Wolverine, and his name was Dark Claw. # 01:00 That really happened. # 20:25 Attention Internet: There was a movie made called "Die Hard Dracula". # 20:26 I'm not sure if Dracula is John McClane or Hans Gruber. # 20:27 Wait! I've got it! He's Reginald VelJohnson. # (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 8th, 2009
1:02 am	01:32 Can we all quit using the word "comedienne"? I assume that comedian is gender neutral. # (Comment on this)
Saturday, November 7th, 2009
1:02 am	11:11 Question: Is there a finer minute of cinema than in the montage of failed cyborgs in Robocop 2? # 12:39 I hereby declare today to be eXistenZ day! # 12:40 Let it be known that the special is for special occasions. # 12:40 But there is the caveat that a birthday IS a special occasion. # 12:45 Mutated reptiles and amphibians offer new and previously unimagined taste sensations. # 12:45 Once I start watching the movie, I'm sure I'll think of some quotes from a character other than the Chinese Restaurant Waiter. # (Comment on this)
Friday, November 6th, 2009
1:03 am	11:28 I never told LL Cool J that I didn't, nor was I ever going to call it a comeback. # 12:50 Okay, so this is a question that only applies to nerds out there. # 12:51 1. Have you had conversations that pretty much just boil down to quoting something over and over? # 12:52 2. If you answered, "yes," then what do you tend to quote? # (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
1:00 am	09:51 Okay, normally I don't post about dreams, but this one was a doozy. # 09:51 1. I actually had the sensation of dreaming that I woke up from a dream. It feel unnerving. # 09:52 2. The dream-within-a-dream featured people cross-breeding penguins and owls, so as to better hunt aquatic mice. # 09:52 I believe I referred to them as abominations unto both God and nature. # 09:53 3. The dream-I-woke-up-into featured a huge revenge turtle. # 09:53 The less said about him, the better. # 09:53 Okay, I'm done now. Thank you for your time. # 12:58 True fact: Sometimes when I use a bathroom sink, I expect Roy Batty's head to burst through. # (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, November 2nd, 2009
12:03 am	13:41 @DrPuppykicker re: Dead Alive: The thing is, I saw that movie years before Lord of the Rings was announced. # 13:41 @DrPuppykicker So all I could do is think, "They're letting this guy direct Lord of the Rings????" # (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 29th, 2009
12:00 am	14:54 Okay internet: What movie would you most like to see turned into a musical? # 14:54 I'm stuck between Re-Animator and Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. # 14:56 Sub-question, more specifically for @DrPuppykicker or possibly @talestoenrage: What would you like to see as a Sondheim musical? # 15:20 @DrPuppykicker I still contend that, as far as showstoppers go, "Two Men Enter (One Man Leaves)" would beat "Yippy Kay Yay". # 16:29 @DrPuppykicker Check and mate, sir. # 16:30 @DrPuppykicker Though I still contend you could get some sweet musical numbers out of Bartertown. # (Comment on this)
Monday, October 26th, 2009
12:01 am	01:19 Things that I am ashamed of, Part 328: Knowing the Super-Skrull's real name. # 01:20 also: Knowing that "Super-Skrull" is hyphenated. # (Comment on this)
Sunday, October 25th, 2009
12:01 am	13:31 @theisb I was reading from the top down, and so I initially assumed that the "Beck"that Smithy was referring to was the singer/songwriter. # (Comment on this)
Wednesday, October 21st, 2009
12:06 am	11:51 RT @talestoenrage: At night, he wishes that there was a terrorist attack by a Mexican muslim, so he could fuse two of his puppets into one. # 21:16 @theisb The test is to listen to yourself saying the words "um, actually..." # 21:17 @theisb Plus, at Heroes Con this year, you purposefully dropped into the nerd voice to remind me that Terry Funk used the spinning toe hold. # 21:29 @theisb Yeah, I'm the large guy who hangs around Matt Wilson. My job is to make him seem even thinner. # 23:07 I'm glad that someone else already thought to combine MF Doom and Ghostface Killah with Santos and Blue Demon. tinyurl.com/yoloyt # (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
12:04 am	23:36 @KingOblivionPhD And I realize that they're not trying to be accurate, but that dude looks nothing like Jason. # 23:37 @KingOblivionPhD I mean, he wore a hockey mask, but he wasn't a hockey player. # 23:37 @KingOblivionPhD I guess that might be their joke? Maybe? # 23:40 @KingOblivionPhD And if so, we can only hope that those writers will go on to have a lucrative career at MAD Magazine circa 1982. # 23:43 @DrPuppykicker The Simpsons ebbs and flows. There were about 6 or 7 episodes in a row last season that were quite good. # 23:47 Ah, Jeff Dunham. Proving that all you need to succeed in America is a little casual racism. # (Comment on this)